Book review: ‘Related by Adoption’ by Hedi Argent

The premise
A handbook for grandparents and other relatives. Quite a basic introduction to adoptive families from the grandparents’ perspective.

My response
A useful introductory book, but I thought it was probably insufficient for our parents. I expect they will be interested to read much more thoroughly and have questions this book doesn’t address. Unlike most of the books aimed at adoptive parents there is very little about attachment or behavioural issues – perhaps to avoid alarming grandparents too soon. I would have liked to see this covered in more depth.

‘Adoption is at least as old as the Bible. Moses was adopted by Pharoah’s daughter. The importance of continuity also seems to be an ancient issue, for Miriam, Moses’ sister, smuggled their birth mother into the court to become his wet nurse. Although this was probably not an open adoption, because no one except Miriam and the infant Moses knew that the wet nurse was the mother, contact was maintained. This adoption also had other modern aspects: it was transracial, intercountry and the child was of a different religion’ (p.7).

‘Dana, aged 11, said about her new family: “They’re not too bad but they speak posh, they don’t watch Big Brother, they don’t know nothing about football and we’re always having to go to the library. Then they make me save half my pocket money. I don’t know why. But I like them ‘cause they’re nice. And there’s all the aunts and uncles and grandma and that – they’re all like that – but they’re nice too”’ (p. 38).

What I found particularly useful
It’s something we can happily give to our parents to provide them with a bit of information – if they want more on specific topics we can lend them some of our growing library of adoption information!

A good basic introduction which won’t overwhelm anyone with information. My personal preference would be for slightly more depth, particularly on attachment and behavioural issues, so our parents are equipped for those.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s